People like Khun Bell will always have a hard time convincing their parents to accept them for what they are. Some are disowned by them and others are forced to do things that they do not want to. Some parents drive their effeminate sons to undertake physical activities like macho sports. I am glad to say that some of my friends who were born that way did not have to suffer the same experience. Their folks were not particularly overjoyed with their unmanly behaviour but they never strove to transform my friends. Their parents acknowledged their sexual identity. However, from time to time, they would grumble about them; about the fact that they tended to wear a lot of make-up and spend an unreasonable amount of time in the bathroom and so on.
A close friend of mine who was not effeminate, but happened to fancy both men and women, had a bit of a battle with his mother. His mother had not been aware of her son’s sexual proclivities until there was a rumour about him holding hands with another boy, also a friend of mine, at college. Apparently, it was a big deal to her. They had been doing it for ages and nobody at the college cared remotely about their overly intimate behaviour towards each other. Occasionally we ribbed them about it light heartedly. One day, at her house, she overheard their flirtatious conversation. I was there too, but I was not paying particular attention to these two love birds. After I returned home, I ended up having a long conversation with her regarding this affair on the phone. Since I was very close to her and she always treated me like her child, I could not bring myself to lie to her. Besides, I saw nothing wrong with the way the two of them behaved. I confirmed the rumour. She asked me whether they were boyfriends. I told her that I did not think so, but they were exceptionally close. The other guy also had a girlfriend and ‘N’ – her son – was aware of that too. She was clearly upset and confused. She assumed that he would want to become a woman in the future and was worried that she would not be able to afford the cost of his sex reassignment surgery. She was thinking too much and being paranoid. As well as liking this guy, ‘N’ was dating a lass too. She told me if that was what he wanted to be, she was prepared to approve of his way of life, despite her confusion, as long as it made him happy.
Immediately after I hung up the phone, I had to respond to another call. It was from ‘N’. He had been eavesdropping the tete-a-tete and wanted to know what else she had interrogated me about. I recounted the matter to him. I told him she wanted to have a proper chat with him, but she was worried about him becoming angry with her. I did not encourage him to talk to her because I knew he would not. It would be better to just leave it like nothing had happened.
I was nonplussed by the news, a few years ago, that he now has a daughter. He had finally stopped being confused and discovered who he truly wanted to be. Each time I go back to Thailand, I am tempted to give him a ring and ask what he has been doing with his life. One thing for sure, he is probably more grown-up than me.
There was one incident that I really want to forget but I cannot, and the image of this particular episode keeps recurring in my mind. It is aggravating me. And I do not think I will ever get it out of my head either. I just hope I can live with it, like some of the other bad experiences that have happened to me. This was not a tragic story, it was just a careless mistake. So, you do not need to bless yourself for it.
My cousin, a friend and I had found a tricycle, as depicted in the picture, left in the street in the neighbourhood. We took it for granted that we could borrow it without asking permission from the owner. Then we rode it all over the area and later further into the town, which we thought quite adventurous. It was just a bit of fun really. We had been playing around for a few hours when suddenly disaster struck; we rode the Samlor into the back of someone’s pickup truck which was parked in front of the owner’s house. We simply lost control of the vehicle and we watched, horror-struck, as the tricycle hit the truck. We did not know what to do, aside from standing still at the scene, petrified, while the owner headed out of his house to check what was going on. For a moment, we thought we were surely going to have to deal with the consequences of our action and he was genuinely upset. Who wouldn’t be if their car had been hit – I would be pissed off too. He checked on the damaged area at the back of his truck where there was a tiny dent. We apologised profusely and I was sure he was going to ask to meet our parents – and he did. But then, surprisingly, he changed his mind and we got away with it, but only after he gave us a blessingly long lecture. After he let us go, we were not in the mood to play any more. We decided to go back to the neighbourhood and park the Samlor where we had found it. Unfortunately, the owner was waiting for our return. What happened next? It was like all hell had broken loose.
Looking back, I feel truly sorry for the trouble that we caused to both the owner of the Samlor and the pick up truck. I doubt that they still remember, but you never know.
Sometimes when you miss someone and you don’t know whether in this life you will see that person again, you have a feeling of nostalgia which is hard to resist, particularly when you come across something that reminds you of that person. You might wonder if he or she ever feels the same as you do and you will never know.
Whenever I listen to this Silly Fools’s song called “Mur Ruk Chun Gert”, which means when my love story began/was born, it always takes me back to an episode in my college years on the day when one of my friends was unwell. I can still see the scene in the hospital room where I and around 30 of my classmates crowded to give this bedridden friend of mine support. While we were joking around with my sick friend, suddently this music video appeared on the TV and all of us in that room were tansfixed with what we were seeing, including the patient. It gave us such a good feeling and we just kept on watching it intently until the end of the song. Damn! I miss that.
Here is the translation of the song in English:
“I have some question in my mind
maybe I do something wrong
maybe I value my love too much
When my love story began…
I decided to stop here, It’s enough to give my heart to someone
I met only disappointment
I met only hurtful
When my love story began
Do you know how I feel?
When I know my love won’t be coming back
Just want to flee far from here
Flee far from here
I won’t turn back again
Just want to flee far from here
Flee far from here
Before you will turn back to kill me
But it seems no matter how far I flee, it will become more close
Still be confused
Still have darkness in my mind
I give someone meaningful things but they don’t want these
When my love story began
Just want to flee far from here
Flee far from here because I don’t want to know that I’m a worthless person
Just want to flee far from here …Flee far from here
Before you will turn back to kill me”
Thanks to this link for the lyrics of the song in English. Cheers!
Last week I got an email from my friend who is currently living abroad, somewhere on this planet. Initially, I thought this female friend of mine just wanted to ask about my well being, which is a common courtesy for friends who have not heard from each other for years. Instead, she sent me something that I have to forward to 9 other people, otherwise I would face bad omens. On the other hand, if I did as I was told I would receive good fortune within 9 days. Contained within the email was a religious prayer which I needed to say nine times before sending it on to other people. After reading this junk, I was going to erase it, but when I thought about it, just for scientific proof, I decided to go along with this game. I was not scared with the threat but as a logical being, I wanted to prove whether there is any basis to this superstitious nonsense. Therefore I sent it to 8 people with whom I do not usually get along and the last one I sent back to her! I wonder if she needs to send it on again to another nine people! In the not too distant future – it has been six days since I did what I was told – I might know if the email really contains supernatural force. So, you could wish me good luck! But I doubt any exciting thing will happen to me. I wish not.
Oh, my god! Why are Brazilian people so hot? Personally, I think they are some of the most sexy human beings on the planet. You cannot argue with that, can you? I am writing this post as a special dedication to my Brazilian friend. As far as I am concerned, she must be one of the most pretty women I have ever met. When I first met her, I was shockingly stunned by her beauty. I was totally blown away. Though she is a model and might come across as a stuck-up person, she often cheerfully spoke to me and the others while we were studying together in London. I obviously miss her dearly. I wish I could post her picture on my blog, but I do not reckon she would appreciate me doing that, unless she allowed me to do so. I tried to look for her in the video, but I could not see her strutting her stuff on the catwalk, which is a bit of a shame! These are just some parts of the many shows of the latest Sao Paulo Fashion Week. Let’s enjoy the extravaganza!
It is a very special day for one of my friends. I wonder what she is doing right now. Is she going out for a celebration or just staying at home with her family and friends? Whatever she is doing, I would love to wish her great happiness on her birthday. It is a shame that I am unable to greet her in person; but saying it on a Birthday card and via an email will do.
Personally, I do not usually have a big party for my birthday. For all I can remember, I had a Birthday cake party once in my life. It was a very nice cake, especially as it was made by my big sister. It was not exactly a proper one; its ingredients consisted mainly of flour, you might call it a loaf of bread. Somehow she managed to make something out of it as a gift for me. I cannot recall whether I and the others who were with me at the time, enjoyed it or not. All I know is that I was chuffed, everyone was in such a festive mood and I could see the smile on my sister’s face.
Somebody once told me that the best way to celebrate the day when you were born is to go to see your mother – unless you are living abroad when saying thank you to her on the phone will do – to give her a big hug and express your gratitude for what she has done for you; i.e. carrying you in her womb for nine months, bringing you up, feeding you, sanitising you when you made a mess of yourself and the most important is that the love that your mother gives is eternal. For that reason, a birthday ought to be a time to recognise how nice your mother is. That’s the way it should be. Undoubtedly, every mum would be deeply appreciative.
What happened earlier today in Japan is unsettling me. I am aware of the fact that, as often as not, there are bad things happening in this beautiful world. Some occasional events have massive repercussions on all people, like the tsunami or 9/11, but others might or might not affect anybody, and yet the killing of innocent Japanese citizens by some lunatic weirdo, for some reason, is strongly disconcerting me. It is definitely disrupting the equilibrium of my mind, along with the matter of not knowing the severity of this incident on some of my Japanese friends. I truly hope that they will be able to deal with it easily. After seeing the news, I decided to write to S. who is one of my Japanese friends. I am so anxious to know what she is thinking and feeling right now regarding this tragic event. Hopefully she will be ok and won’t lose faith in her fellow citizens. There are always crazy people everywhere, not only in Japan. At the same time, while I am worrying about her feelings, she may even care nothing about the stabbing at all. But who knows? And I personally care. May this horrible thing never happen again, whether in Japan, here, or the rest of the world. I just wish.