In order to prove that this ‘freedom of expression’ really exists in practice, everywhere and on every occasion, my fantasy is to embark on a quest to do three things which I have been anxious to do for some time. They may make me come across as a nether region’s hole and it also might offend those who are the objects of these acts of expression. Nevertheless, my fantasy is to carry them out anyway.
First of all, since living in a football loving nation like the UK, I would take the opportunity to attend a football match, if possible between big names like Liverpool FC and Manchester United FC. And during the course of the game I would stand up abruptly and shout to nobody in particular that “Football is the sport of working class people”. No offence intended, but I really think that the game is so below me. To me, I associate football with big mouthed men and lager. I don’t mind watching it for a few minutes on TV, but the idea of me sitting in a big stadium with people who I have nothing in common with is just so unbearable and unimaginable. Having said that, I would still like to do it. I would love to know what the crowd’s reaction would be in response to my action. Alternatively, to make it easier, I could just walk into a pub somewhere in this country and announce what I generally feel about this overrated sport.
Next, one of the many unkind ideas that I quite fancy. During my holiday in Thailand I have met more than a few German tourists – they seem to be ubiquitous in many tourist places in the Land of Smiles. In general, they are very well-behaved and I have nothing against them. But in order to attest my support of free speech, next time I meet these people by chance, for instance at a hotel restaurant, I would intentionally walk close to them, stop suddenly in front of them, and pointing my right arm in the air, utter the infamous phrase “Sieg heil! Sieg heil!“.
Lastly, to achieve the ultimate freedom of expression, I would, uninvited, attend some stranger’s funeral with no care for the cause of his or her demise. While the relatives or friends are giving their eulogies, I would proudly stand up with a glass of champagne in my hand and loudly shout to every single person in the church. “Congratulations to you all and hooray on this wonderful day!“. I wonder if I would have a few seconds to run.
You know what, despite what I have just said, I do not think I would have the balls to do any of these things. Yet perhaps, on a day when I was completely drunk, I might carry out one of these mindless fancies of mine. If so, I beg you all to pray for me.