Monthly Archives: September 2008

I can sleep without you, but I don’t want to

It is a very strange feeling that when you had no one and lived by yourself, somehow you were able to live from day to day without anything bothering your mind. These days, things have greatly changed; for instance, from the moment when you awake every morning, you have to look for that person who is a part of your life. And you will always feel restless when that person is away, especially when, through the window, you see him or her walking out of the house. I guess everybody must feel the same about seeing his or her loved ones departing, whether husbands are going to work or children are leaving for school. You just wonder if he or she will have a good day; and the most important thing is that you want to see that person arrive home safely. It does not matter if last night you had a big fight with him or her, because, at the end of the day, it is so unimportant. What matters for you is to be able to be with that loved one again until death do us part. Isn’t this just a fact?

P.S. You might need a sick bucket after reading this!

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Away from her

It is a truly poignant movie about a woman who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease and her husband has to put her into a care home. I know that this is only a movie and I should not have been thinking too much about it. But the reality is that this disease causes so much stress to the relatives of the patients; it is worse when they see their loved ones experiencing this illness and gradually losing their minds, including the memories of the ones they love. I am trying to understand so as to be able to express my opinion regarding this topic because I do not want to offend anybody. My understanding is that this unpleasant disease usually affects the elderly and is more prevalent in Caucasion people. I hope I am wrong.

There was an elderly couple who used to live next door to me, here in the UK. But eventually the husband had to sell their house because his wife had gone senile. He could no longer look after her by himself; she needed 24 hour support in a care home. What is the difference between senile and Alzheimer’s anyway? It was really sad when he came to say goodbye. I personally did not talk to him much apart from simple greetings, as I did not know him very well. At that time I was just a foreigner, new to the neighbourhood, whose English was not that great. On that evening I was just sitting upstairs listening to him saying goodbye to the person who I am living with.

It is always lovely to see an elderly couple because this signifies that people can have a good life together, no matter what. Even a horrible disease cannot result in them drifting apart. Just wonderful.

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Filed under Film, Illness

You might get killed by your shoes

This is serious. After watching this clip, it reminded me of a rumour about a woman who, unfortunately, fell off her towering block-like stilettos and hit her head on the footpath. The woman allegedly died on the spot. That’s why they’re called a “fashion crime or fashion of mass destruction”! However, the shoes’ liability was never confirmed. But, girls who love wearing shoes like these might need to watch out when they strut about in these impractical high heels. At the very least, you could accidentally break your legs if you fall like the model in the clip. I wonder why many women like to wear them. They don’t look very comfortable. Maybe the heels could be used as a weapon in case of an emergency, such as when a woman has an argument with her boyfriend and feels the need to stick something into his head; why don’t you turn to your own shoes girl?! If that was the case, I could see the use for them. And men, you all might just need to look out!

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Tea for me

I barely drank tea while I was still living in the land of smiles. I found it a bit tasteless, though there was some flavour there. From time to time, Thai elders would offer me a cup of tea, usually Chinese tea or iced tea – often in a plastic bag with an elastic band tied at the top and a straw in it; I simply refused their generosity. Back then, tea was not really my cup of tea. Wasn’t that ironic? These days, things have changed and I am able to enjoy the drink a bit better. After living with Brits for quite a while, I have turned into a tea fan. The thing that I like about drinking tea is that it helps to reduce indigestion after a meal. Preferably, I like to drink it after dinner every day – it stops me from burping. Having said that, I have never made a cup of tea by myself and I do not wish to either; I have somebody who does it for me. Aren’t I lucky? I personally do not mind just playing the role of a tea drinker. I love it, especially when it is accompanied by a lovely chocolate biscuit. It is so yummy.

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“Samlor” or Thai tricycle

There was one incident that I really want to forget but I cannot, and the image of this particular episode keeps recurring in my mind. It is aggravating me. And I do not think I will ever get it out of my head either.  I just hope I can live with it, like some of the other bad experiences that have happened to me. This was not a  tragic story, it was just a careless mistake. So, you do not need to bless yourself for it.

My cousin, a friend and I had found a tricycle, as depicted in the picture, left in the street in the neighbourhood. We took it for granted that we could borrow it without asking permission from the owner. Then we rode it all over the area and later further into the town, which we thought quite adventurous. It was just a bit of fun really. We had been playing around for a few hours when suddenly disaster struck; we rode the Samlor into the back of someone’s pickup truck which was parked in front of the owner’s house. We simply lost control of the vehicle and we watched, horror-struck, as the tricycle hit the truck. We did not know what to do, aside from standing still at the scene, petrified, while the owner headed out of his house to check what was going on. For a moment, we thought we were surely going to have to deal with the consequences of our action and he was genuinely upset. Who wouldn’t be if their car had been hit – I would be pissed off too. He checked on the damaged area at the back of his truck where there was a tiny dent. We apologised profusely and I was sure he was going to ask to meet our parents – and he did. But then, surprisingly, he changed his mind and we got away with it, but only after he gave us a blessingly long lecture. After he let us go, we were not in the mood to play any more. We decided to go back to the neighbourhood and park the Samlor where we had found it. Unfortunately, the owner was waiting for our return. What happened next? It was like all hell had broken loose.

Looking back, I feel truly sorry for the trouble that we caused to both the owner of the Samlor and the pick up truck. I doubt that they still remember, but you never know.

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Filed under personal, Thailand, Thai_People

R for Rant

I woke up sharply with a morning glory. While I was trying to walk steadily to the toilet, I tried to force myself not to glance at those David Foster Wallace books on the bookshelf, standing amongst my many other beloved books. It was quite hard for me, mentally and physically, to get over his sudden demise and my morning glory but before long I managed to ease the latter. I finished breakfast pretty quickly and went back upstairs to tidy the bed. After finishing this chore, I decided to carry on reading a novel by some third rate writer. The story is not mighty appealing; it is something to do with a guy who has to juggle with his work and family life with his wife, ex-wife and his son. After reading a few pages, I was overwhelmed with boredom and tossed the book back to where it belongs. I then decided to check on news of the bygone American writer on the internet. I ‘googled’ and found one particularly interesting article about DFW, which is on the Guardian website: “the commencement speech the author gave to a graduating class at Kenyon College, Ohio“. It was a very good speech. You might want to check it out. I liked what I was reading so much so that I wanted to print it out. As things turned out, though, there was a problem while I was trying to get the article onto the paper. Frustratingly, I was fiddling with it for quite a while before making the decision to copy the whole text to a Word document. In the end, I got what I wanted. I had a bit of time left before lunch, so I felt I wanted to read that third rate novel again. I managed to read only four pages as I was quite hungry and it was already three o’clock in the afternoon. Well, this is normally my lunch time and I usually get up around eleven o’clock. After lunch, I initially headed to the bathroom for a shower, but I suddenly realised that there was something that needed to be sorted out: Marie Antoinette, the paperback written by Antonia Fraser has got a crease along its spine. I tried my best to fix it although I thought it would be impossible, and it really was. Another aggravation attack, I shoved the book back in the cupboard. Standing in the shower, I was still unable to get DFW out of my head. However, this time I was pissed off at the many opportunistic booksellers who, overnight, have increased the price of his books. I strongly recommend that anyone who has never read his work before should wait for a while until the story of this tragic event dwindles before getting one of this wonderful writer’s books. I turned on the tap to wash away the fuss that was flooding my mind. Seconds later, I felt at ease and quickly had a strong urge to release the tension in my “bone”. Whenever I have done this, it was simply a banging experience. You know very well what I mean. Subsequently, I manicured my hands a bit by cutting my finger nails and softened them with lotion. And then, I was in a state of MILF which is short for “Man! I’d like food.” I did not understand why I felt hungry again. I then got dressed, came downstairs and had dinner. Amazingly, I managed three meals in the short period of time I had been awake – this is normal for me. There was not a lot to do so I came back to the computer to start composing this post. I had been doing it for a few minutes, when I had to go to do other things. Hours later, back at the computer again, I am sitting here not knowing what to say and trying to think of something other than DFW, but I have nothing else to tell, not for today. I have had enough.

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On the train

A long time ago, when I first came to the UK to study English Language in London, I had to commute there by train. This caused me a bit of concern as I had never used an electric train before and I did not know how the system worked either. But I manged to learn from someone around here whose name is not appropriately mentioned on this blog. In the end, it was not that difficult and I could manage it by myself.

The thing that I liked about travelling on the train in the UK is that I felt relaxed, especially on the mid-afternoon train when there were not many commuters. I also liked the view of the rolling countryside as the train passed by. I cannot specifically describe it. For some strange reason, it just made me feel good and calm. It was just like being in this music video, Star Guitar, by the Chemical Brothers, directed by one of my favourite directors, Michel Gondry.

The funny thing about travelling on the train in England is that people are always quiet. It seems like there is nobody there. I think the reason for this is that people just do not want to express themselves in public since it might draw attention to themselves. It could be a bit embarrassing if other passengers heard what you said about your own business, whether by phone or just in ordinary discussion. And it would be inconsiderate too if you talked too much as it would disturb other passengers.

Still, that does not mean I would like to commute on the train on a regular basis. I merely like the feeling of sitting and looking out of the window and at other passengers’ faces on the train. Strangely, nobody seemed to make eye contact with me. If a passenger did, I might provide that person with a wink to eye him or her up! People are unbelievably shy. There was not much I could do, except to sit still, look out of the window and enjoy the scenery.

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