Dear Mum, Sister and the other members of my family.
I am sorry that I have not written or called you for more than three months. I wonder what is happening to you all. I am doing quite well in this foreign land, despite the fact that I hardly do anything at all. So, please do not worry about me. In fact, you people should be happy to see the back of me or it would be even better if you all completely forgot about me like I have about you.
Take care,
Me
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Dear Friends
I am a little bit sorry, but feel less guilty about not writing to you guys. As you know very well, I am the type of person who just cannot be bothered to keep in touch with people. I hope you do not hate me for the absence of a response from me, but even if you do, I would not mind at all. I hope you do well with whatever you are doing, whether your job, studying or trying to steal somebody’s fiancee; please try your best. I know it must be really hard for you not to think about me, but I urge you lot to restrain yourselves from missing me. I will write to you when I feel I want to.
Be good,
Me
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